thanksgiving

was intresting
stories to come!!!!

made me feel so low today

ive never felt that low before. okay well i have. but i swear the nerve of this boy.
my mom invited the boyfirned ot come to the movies wih us, so she could meet him. he first says yes, then 10 minutes before we come to get him he cancels on me.

i think that is so rude, and i know mom does, shes just to nice to say anything.

im so pissed right now

should i or should i not?

the boyfriend wants a Playstaion 3 for christmas
It cost about $399 or $420 with tax.
He wants it bad yeah.
but mind you i dont have a job or money

what do i do?

This weekend

Friday i invited the boyfriend over to watch TV. Yeah i know what you're thinking what teenage boy actually wants to just sit and watch TV, when he could be hooking up with his girlfriend. So that's how my night went. He would kiss me, then kiss my neck, and i was gone, i was like take me I'm all yours. But i have to say, i have amazing will power. Every time it seemed to be going to far i would stop. It kinda pissed me off, because i had told him earlier in the week i wanted to try celibacy. HA HA. So about 30 minutes before hes gonna leave, he just starts to kiss me, with kissing me hes hoping that ill get distracted and not notice hes taking my jeans off. I'm in my thong and tank top. and he pulls my thong to the side and penetrates me. By this time, I'm just like whatever, you want it, go along ahead. I swear sit there like a freaking board, i don't move. Halfway through he' s like baby you were right, i think we should wait. I say you asshole, get off me. Like who stops having sex when youre in the middle. And then he says maybe you do need matching bra an dunderware. Im like a little upset right now, becuas ei wanted our first time togther after a long time to be speical. I wanted matching bra and uunderware. and i feel like he was mocking me, and i tell him, so. Like why is he so stubborn. Gosh Darn it. ha. So after about 15 minutes he leaves, which is fine wiht me, cause im in a rotten mood. He calls me 45 minutes later, mind me his house is like 10 minutes away, to tell me that he just got home and is going to bed. So im like whatever have a great night.

The next day, i dont hear form him at all. I call him baout 3 times, once at 11, once at 4 ,a nd again at 11pm. My messages get colder and colder. Forgive me if my first though is he's dodging my calls, and he just used me last night. I felt really hurt. Because this boy has cheated on me, and hurt really badly before. I gave him heart again, and i wa sso scare dhe was gonna hurt me again. And imagine what im going through at the time. My thoughs are of coursre the worst. That no good asshole, just freaking used me for sex. I was so hurt, i think i cried for like 2 hours, and of course none of my "friends" were there for me. Big suprise? not really. Finally at like 3 the next day, when the saints game was on he decides to call me. And feeds me this excuse about how his phone feel in the toliet and how he couldnt use it. But i love him and i believe him, because i truly have put the past in the past. He hasnt given me a reason to nor believe him, and did i mention that i love him.

So thats my great weekend. Unfortunatly its back to school: the world of backstabbers and liars.

11-7-07

i would have to say is one of the best days of my enitire lifef. It when me and my exboyfriend got together agigan. I have the most amazing boyfriend ever. I love him so muchhh and people may not understand why, but to me it doesnt matter. He makes me incredibly happy. He is my bestfriend and im so blessed to have him in my life. He brings out the best of me and make me feel amazing. When i talk to him or when im with him i feel so beautiful and on top of thr world. I love you baby11-7-07. People may think its to soon for theier to be love between us, but i feel bad for them, because i know what truelove is and i understand it ,and when im with him, ive never felt better. So I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!